To The Next Step, 'Till The Last Step...

Παρασκευή, 18 Ιουνίου 2010

The Circle Of Pretenders



That night I couldn't sleep.. Just like every night.. I was too tired 'cause it was a long, hard day, but I couldn't sleep at all so I went out for a walk.. These thoughts inside my mind are feeding the pain and it gets harder and harder to pass through it every night I go to bed. Alone.. In my lonely room, in my lonely house, in my lonesome way of livin'.. I don't know what's going on, I can't tell the reasons why, but I know that something's wrong.. Something so close and maybe so far from me...
I didn't care where I was going to, I couldn't think so I left my legs lead the way.. And all of a sudden, as I was walking and looking the stars in the saddest sky I had ever seen, I heard a strange voice at the end of the street coming out from a black door.. "Where am I? And what is this place?" I thought.. I went to check it out, not because I really wanted to know, but that thing gave at least a small reason in my endless and painful day.. "I have nothin' to lose, no one's waiting for me, no one cares so there's nothing to worry about" were the words that made me go on..
Only seven chairs, nine sad faces and a lamp were filling the dark room behind the small black door.. They had made a circle and they were sharing their life problems. Most of them were sick or somethin'.. A young man was sitting on the floor, the others on the chairs and another man was standing in front of the lamp saying: "I look around this room and I see a lot of courage and that gives me strength. We give strength to each other".. Then he stopped his speech and looked at me when I walked in and said: "Come in stranger. We're having a little discussion here, you can join us if you want."..
I stayed for a while but... It wasn't exactly what I expected.. Nothing unusual, nothing strange.. Close to nothing at all to say the truth.. Everyone's pretending that wants to hear you and that makes you feel that you're not alone. But their ears are closed. They're just waiting for their turn to speak and open up themselves 'cause that makes them feel better. Every single one's got a story to tell, but who's gonna hear it? Who cares?.. It's just an illusion... The circle of pretenders.
You could see a river of tears having their own party in this room.. I've had enough of such things these days so that wasn't for me, I couldn't stand it anymore. I don't even know why I stayed.. I left this sick place and walked my way back home.. Suddenly it started to rain. I froze and thought of my life for a moment.. Nothing special, nothing's changed.. Everyday the same story, the same old scenario, the same puppets killing their time out there.. The same days just like today. The same feelings.. Even the same cold rain...
Finally I reached my silent, poor place. Everything was there just as I left them.. The only thing that changed was the time.. Time never stops, never waits.. And when I slowly closed the door behind me I thought: "I wish something different would come up from all of this.. This big nothing... I wish tomorrow would bring something special in this house... Even a murder, or maybe... A suicide..."

5 σχόλια:

Katerina... είπε...

Με άγγιξε απίστευτα..
Αν και πλέον νομίζω πως βρίσκομαι σε ένα μεταβατικό στάδιο..
Που πολύ εύχομαι τελικά να μου βγεί σε καλό.. το κείμενο σου με εκανε να σκεφτώ το πρίν..
Σχεδόν δάκρυσα διαβάζοντας το..
Κάπως έτσι ένιωθα και εγώ.. (αν εξαιρεσεις το group therapy :P)
γιατι καπου εκεί ήμουν και εγω..
Δεν είμαι πλέον.. το μόνο που με φοβίζει όμως είναι μήπως και ξαναγυρίσω εκεί...
Και δεν το θέλω...

Την καλημέρα μου..

annanas είπε...

Και σου έφερε κάτι πολύ special! Τον annana στο skype! :Ρ

Sweet truth! είπε...

I couldn't stop reading,
I couldn't stop feeling what you felt.
I just couldn't.
I followed your steps through that night, but I wasn't that strong to open the small black door...
I never met the circle of pretenders, but I met you...
I saw you in the rain, I stared for a while and then being sure that you are ok, took my way back...
You are ok, just erase these last thoughts...

Adis είπε...

Katerina,
και πολύ χαίρομαι για 'σένα! Μη το σκέφτεσαι καθόλου, απλά κοίτα να μη χαλάσεις αυτό που ζεις τώρα.. ;)

Καλό βράδυ! :)


Annana,
ναιιιι!! :)
Κοίτα να δεις ε!?..
Τελικά, φρούτα υπάρχουν πολλά, Αννανάς όμως ένας! ;)

Καλό σου βράδυ και καλή επιτυχία.. (Εμείς ακόμη προσευχίμαστε).. :)
Φιλιά!

Sweet truth,
ένας νυχτερινός περίπατος και μερικές ανούσιες σκέψεις, αυτό ήταν όλο... :P
Πάει πέρασε... Καινούριες μέρες ξημερώνουν.. ;)

Καληνύχτα! :)

annanas είπε...

χμχμχμ να πιάνουν τόπο άραγε οι προσευχές; Δίνω Σάββατο (μεθαύριο) - Κυριακή - Δευτέρα και επόμενο Σάββατο. Στις άλλες εξετάσεις που θα δίναμε στις 10, πάλι παρουσιάστηκε πρόβλημα και δεν ξέρουμε αν και πότε θα δώσουμε :(
Και σ' αυτές που δίνω μεθαύριο, εχω 1 στις 49 πιθανότητες. Συνέχισε τις προσευχές μικρέ!

Kiitos...